Party-hopping: Zoe Saldana at Prabal Gurung during NYFW. Check out more front row star sightings here »
How beautiful is this blazer?
The Ballet of Mustache
Golden exfords backstage at Rodarte
Photographed by Eva Chen
DETAIL: Oscar de la Renta Fall 2012
You must constantly rebuild your identity as an adult, the way it’s been put together it is wobbly and ephemeral, so fragile, cloaking despair and, when you’re alone in front of the mirror, it tells you the lies you need to believe. — The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Muriel Barbery
Old draft I have finally got round to publishing. Disclaimer: I know that Taylor Swift is clearly very talented and hardworking,and I actually like both of the songs I’m dissing here. But, you know.
Consider this: ‘You Belong With Me’. Yes it’s very cute, and she’s adorable in glasses and those funky outfits she jumps around in and ooh isn’t she beautiful in the end when she gets the guy. And oh the other girl is her too, she looks so different as a brunette! Missing the point.
Let’s extend all things to their logical conclusions, even if it is just a pop song. Taylor is sad because the guy she wants is going out with a girl she feels is unworthy of him. Well guess what Taylor: it’s none of your business. It was also obviously his choice to go out with a hot cheerleader who wears short skirts while you’re wearing your sneakers on the bleachers. I know the persona she’s portraying is 15 and therefore not in her right mind but still: you can’t hate on the girl, nor the guy. He didn’t choose you, he chose someone else. And if they were married, in this scenario you would be a home-wrecker.
Skip forward to her new track, ‘Speak Now’. They’re older now, and in a church, and guess what? The guy she wants is getting married to a girl Taylor feels is unworthy of him. So Taylor has turned up at their wedding to speak now and never hold her peace. This is not okay, Taylor. It’s not okay to turn up at some guy’s wedding and tell him to run away with you. Unless he has been drugged, charmed or hypnotised into this marriage, you have no right to arrive at someone’s big day and expect to drag the groom away from the altar. It’s not charming or romantic: it’s selfish and malicious.
It is also not the other woman’s fault, because in both these scenarios, you are the other woman. You are the one deliberately attempting to ruin a relationship, you’re the one staring creepily at your next door neighbour, you are the crazy lady shouting at a wedding. But the worst part is, you’re proud of it. The only emotion that accompanies these unworthy sentiments is a sense of self-satisfaction.
What should be there is shame. And confusion – you can’t idolise a man who loves someone you don’t. If he’s marrying someone else, then he’s not your perfect guy. And leave the other girl alone.
There will always be romantic triangles, and there will always be times when the one you want wants someone else. And for time immemorial, women have blamed other women for stealing away the men. But it’s not right. It’s a pernicious cultural trope that we need to resist. When you subscribe to this idea, it means that you’re placing this guy, whoever he is, in the camp of the righteous and unassailable. But someone still needs to be blamed, and naturally this falls on the third party: the second girl. Stop blaming the other girl, and start reconsidering the reason you think your man (and/or self) is so perfect.
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It’s kind of bizarre, but I really love this look.
I was in the lift at work today with two other women, and I was zoning out just looking at the numbers change on the screen. Then after a while I heard one woman go, ‘Yeah lah, her skirt is very nice,’ and the other woman made a noise in agreement. Then I looked over and they were both staring at my maxi skirt. Then the lift doors opened and I got out. I don’t know whether I should be pleased that they liked my skirt or annoyed that they were talking about me as if I weren’t there??
Hope everyone’s having a good week anyway. Four days till my birthday! :)